No, Really
by NanDeMoNai
Summary: How could a mysterious herb can make Naruto act so strangely? [Yaoi, SasuNaru, hints of KakaIru]
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Me again. Second story ever, but this time it's SasuNaru! This means yaoi, so if you don't like it, please don't read! Because I didn't want the two of them to be as clueless as they were before the giant fight they had, this is taken in time if Sasuke hadn't left Konoha. Yeah, we all wish that this was a "what if he didn't leave" story, but a "he didn't leave at all" story, but alas, he left so it's too bad. There's also hintings of KakaIru, but that's just in there for some laughs. I try to keep all the characters to their personality the best I can because if I changed it, they wouldn't be them anymore! Please read and review? Thanks!**

"Old Lady Tsunade!" The door to the Hokage's office was nearly slammed off its hinges as a hyperactive blonde stormed in. His entrance scared the two occupants inside the room.

"Naruto! Would it kill you to knock on the door for once!" the agitated Hokage yelled at him, her back ramrod straight from the sudden intrusion. The pink haired girl next to her sighed and her eyes fell to the floor next to Naruto.

"Hey, what's this?" He crouched down to pick up what seemed to be a purplish plant with fuzzy leaves.

"Naruto, don't touch th--!" Sakura screamed but it was too late because now the blonde just stood there with his hands around the herb with his eyes wide open.

"_Drop it_!" Tsunade commanded and he did as he was told. They both rushed over to him and picked up the plant gingerly, with gloved hands.

"What? What's wrong?" the dumbfounded boy asked nervously.

"This is an herb that one of the ninjas found near Konoha's borders a few days ago. We don't know what it is, but it appears to be a mutation from one of the other plants nearby. Are you feeling okay?" Sakura asked him as she returned to the desk, placing the plant in a tin pan with some other herbs.

"Yeah, I'm fine… What does it do?" he asked as he backed away from the Hokage's hand, feeling his forehead. After receiving an annoyed frown from her, he walked to the desk as well, peering closely at all the dried up looking plants.

"We don't know for sure yet," Tsunade spoke up, "but from the most current tests, we conclude that it makes anyone who touches it with their bare skin gets some strange side effects from it." She looked at Naruto with ominous eyes. "And maybe sometimes it gets even worst…"

He paled at her last sentence. "Am I going to die?" he whimpered.

Sakura turned away from him so that her back was to him. "Much worst than that…" she mumbled to him. "This plant," she picked it up and showed it to him again, "makes you…" she trailed off and looked at Tsunade.

"Makes you," she picked up the sentence and leaned closer to him, her face full of impending doom, "act strangely… towards the one that you love most. Consciously or subconsciously love, that is…"

Naruto laughed at the two of them, clutching his stomach and backing away a bit. After a few seconds of short bursts laughter, he recovered and wiped away some tears. "What's so bad about that? I though I was going to fall to pieces or something!" he chuckled lightly.

Sakura and Tsunade looked at each other apprehensively.

"Well, uh, Naruto, we're not sure how long the effects will be or how dire it will be, but it's definitely not a good herb. Until we find out more about it, we have to keep as many people away from it as possible," Tsunade said to him, her face obviously worried about something.

---

"Iruka-chaaan!"

"Kakashi, get away! I'm teaching class!"

"Konohamaru-chan, what is Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei doing?" Moegi asked as the entire class watched Iruka try to smack Kakashi away with a ruler.

---

"Well, I'm sure I'll be immune to it, since I have Kyuubi in me!" he said confidently.

"As far as we're concerned, though, the herb doesn't do any physical harm to you, so Kyuubi might not be able to get the herb's poison out of you. Check in with us if you feel funny, okay, Naruto?" Sakura patted him on the shoulder.

"Yeah, sure…" the fox demon container rubbed the back of his head and strolled out, completely forgetting that he had nearly kicked down the door for something.

Once Naruto was out of the room, Tsunade turned to Sakura. "So, who do you want to bet it's going to be?"

"Hokage-sama!"

---

_Hm, no I feel fine… I bet Kyuubi will deal with it, whatever those two say_…. Naruto thought as he walked out of the building and into the streets of Konoha. He sighed as he walked towards Ichiraku and saw that he didn't have any more money left_. Hey, there's Sasuke, maybe I can get him to buy some fore me!_

He ran over to his teammate excitedly and smacked him on the back, causing poor Sasuke to cough out a breath and skip a step. Not only that, but Naruto also killed his usually brooding stance.

"What do you want, dobe?" he asked angrily, his hands stuffed in his pockets as usual.

"Sasuke, do you want some ramen?" Naruto asked him cheerily, walking next to him.

"No," was his curt reply.

"Aw, Sasuke!" he whined, hoping that he would fall for the trick. Iruka usually did. But then again, Iruka could be such a softy sometimes.

"No, dobe, go away."

Naruto stopped and pouted a bit before changing his tactic. Usually he wouldn't call on Kyuubi for small petty things like this, but this was an emergency! No ramen? By the gods, that was disaster.

"Sasuke…" he growled and put a hand on his shoulder, gripping the cloth with sharp nails. "Buy me ramen," he licked his sharpened canines and glared at him with red eyes.

---

Sasuke sighed exasperatedly, staring at his empty bowl of ramen. "Hurry up, dobe, I have things to do."

The blonde slurped up the last of his soup and wiped his mouth, finally content after many bowls. "Ah, finished!" He laughed childishly and looked over at Sasuke, who was now pulling out his wallet and paying. "Thanks, teme."

"I would say that you owe me, but that money is as good as gone," he said flatly and walked out of the shop without another word.

"Hey, don't leave me like this! I bet you don't even have anything to do!" Naruto trotted after his teammate. He was planning to annoy him again today.

"I'm going to be training and you'll just get in the way."

"No, I'm not going to. I'll even fight you to help you improve!" he said pompously.

Sasuke stopped walking and turned to the blonde. "Are you trying to purposely annoy me?"

Naruto turned his head to the sky a bit and tried to avoid it by saying, "Well, I wouldn't say _purposely_…"

Quick steps made Naruto skip a bit to catch up with Sasuke again. His lips were pressed in a thin line, expressing his annoyance already. "Look, I'm going to bet you something."

"A bet? On what?" Naruto asked excitedly almost jumping like a girl.

"I'm going to fight you and if I win, you leave me alone for a week," he said, letting Naruto understand that first before adding the pros for him, "but if you win, then I'll buy ramen for you for an entire week."

"You're on, teme!" Naruto yelled without a second thought.

_Seven days without being bothered by him is worth more than a fight…_ Sasuke thought as they went to the training grounds.

---

"So…" Sasuke panted as he leaned on a tree. "Where did your overconfident attitude go now?"

"Shut up, teme, you know I beat you once, and I can do it again!" Naruto stood up shakily and wiped the film of sweat on his forehead away.

"Hey, remember the terms we agreed to…" Sasuke warned. No help from Kyuubi.

"Yeah, yeah, I know…" he muttered and took in a deep breath. He charged at Sasuke and threw a punch at him. As excepted, the Uchiha easily blocked the punch. "Hey, Sasuke?"

"What, dobe?" he asked as he tried to jab him in the stomach.

"What would you do if I kissed you right now?" his tactic was to shock Sasuke long enough for him to punch him down. Unfortunately, it didn't quite work.

"I would punch the living daylights out of you," was the monotone reply. Their fight continued for several more moments before Naruto spoke up again.

"No… Really," his face turned serious and he grabbed Sasuke's arm, bending it behind him and holding him down so that he couldn't move. Well, either he couldn't move or he didn't want to move. They stayed like that for some seconds as Sasuke gathered his thoughts.

The first time around, he thought Naruto was joking, but that look on his face made him think otherwise. He broke away from Naruto and stood up with his hands up to show his submission. "Is this what you do in your spare time? Think of ridiculous questions to ask people?" He looked up at the sky to determine the time.

Naruto ignored his question and pranced around yelling something about free ramen. Sasuke rolled his eyes and placed his hands back into his pockets and waited for the dobe to calm down.

After the blonde finally recovered he acknowledged the fact that he was asked a question. His only answer was a shrug.

"Whatever, dobe. I'm going to go now," Sasuke sauntered off again, leaving Naruto alone.

"Psh, spoilsport…"

---

_Seven day s and I'm still incredulous about how much this dobe can eat_… Sasuke looked at the mountain of bowls that towered over Naruto precariously. He was starting to regret giving up on that fight. Why had he done so anyway? He couldn't even remember.

"Finished!" Naruto announced happily and waited for Sasuke to pay again. _Too bad this is the last day_, he thought and followed Sasuke again.

For the past week they had been doing this. Eating until Sasuke's wallet resembled an anorexic stick then going out to train. Against Sasuke's will of course, but he lost the bet so he had to pay the price.

Sometimes Naruto would join the training but most of the time he sat against a tree and poked fun at Sasuke. It took every last ounce of energy for Sasuke not to murder him. Though both had confessed that they were best friends, an annoying best friend is still annoying.

Today Naruto had sparred with his teammate and he was sprawled across the ground, staring at the clouds above their heads. Sasuke was sitting up with his hands laced around his knees.

He was reminiscing about that day again. The day when they both fought to near death.

"_You're my friend so if I have to break every bone in your body and drag you back to Konoha, I will!"_

_He nearly kept his word too…_ Sasuke closed his eyes and smiled a bit.

"_And when I looked at you, I wondered if this was how it was to have a brother!"_

He was rudely snapped out of bittersweet memories when he heard Naruto growl, "Sasuke-teme…" Sasuke was about to turn around and punch him in the head for calling him all of a sudden but when he did turn around, he saw the Naruto had fallen asleep.

"_What would you do if I kissed you right now?"_

"_I'd punch the living daylights out of you."_

"_No… Really."_

"Hn…" he snorted a bit when he remembered the words. Sasuke stood up and walked away, once again leaving Naruto behind.

---

"Holy crap, Naruto, what the heck do you think you're doing?" Sasuke slapped his hand away and backed away. He took out a kunai and held it out, in case Naruto tried something funny again. They were just walking to the training grounds when Naruto suddenly hugged him.

"Sasuke," he whimpered, looking innocently at him.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked tentatively. He had been acting like the typical Naruto when he just suddenly jumped on him.

"Please, let me hug you?"

"What? No!"

"Please?" he walked towards him a bit.

_Okay, something's wrong with him…. I'd better take him to Tsunade…_ Sasuke concluded. He took a quick step forward and punched Naruto in the stomach hard. Sasuke dropped the kunai and held up the limp body of his teammate.

When he reached the office, he knocked briskly before opening the door. Tsunade looked up quickly, her face painted with surprise when she saw Naruto draped onto Sasuke's shoulders.

"What happened?" she asked worriedly and rushed over to him, carrying Naruto to a chair. Sasuke explained to her what happened. The Hokage listened but was trying not to laugh all the while.

"Sasuke, I don't want you to have a heart attack or anything, but I think you'd better know what happened to Naruto. A week or so ago, he accidentally touched an herb that we had recently found…" she went on to explain to him all that they knew as of right now, which wasn't much. "From earlier tests, we know that the effects will last more than two weeks, but we're still not certain of the exact number of days…"

---

"Sorry class. I know it's hard to concentrate with Kakashi-sensei hanging there, but we need to continue class. Open your books to page 214, please…"

"I think 'hard to concentrate' is an understatement," Konohamaru whispered to Udon.

Kakashi was tied up with thick ropes and hung up from the ceiling in a corner of the room. After two weeks of trying to attack Iruka, the teacher finally gave up and tied him up.

---

"So you'll just have to deal with him until the effects wear off. Hm, Sasuke?"

Sasuke's soul escaped about halfway through her lecture when she explained the properties and side effects of the herb. He stood there like an empty shell while Tsunade nudged him.

"What did I say about having a heart attack? Sasuke-kun. Hey…" Tsunade blinked as he started to leave. "Sasuke, what am I going to do with Naru… to?" The Hokage stared at Naruto. "I guess I'll just kick him out after he wakes up…"

---

"Sasuke, I told you I'm sorry! They told me to see them when I felt funny! Seriously, I wasn't feeling funny… Sasuke, talk to me! Sasuke-teme!" Naruto darted around him as he walked quickly to the training grounds, trying hard not to punch him in the face. All Sasuke could hear was the repetition of his name.

"Argh, shut up, dobe!" Sasuke stopped abruptly and yelled at him. There was about a three second lapse before Naruto whimpered, "Sasuke?"

The boy slapped his forehead and continued walking, the blonde trailing after him like a pet. "Just stop talking for five minutes…"

The five minutes turned into hours when they reached their destination. Naruto sat down on the grass dejected as he silently watched Sasuke practice like there was no tomorrow. After the first hour or so, Naruto started t o get bored and fell asleep. The sun was starting to go down when Sasuke finally decided that that was enough training for a day.

He walked slowly over to Naruto, who was in the same position that he was in about a week ago. He stood there, looking at the dobe and thinking again. Sasuke sighed heavily and crouched down at Naruto's feet.

"How could you love someone like me?" he murmured quietly to the sleeping ninja. "Hn…" He fell to his knees and positioned himself so that he was hovering above the blonde.

"What would you do, Naruto, if I kissed you right now?" he whispered, smiling a bit. He leaned down and kissed him lightly.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Ahahaha… I know, I know. This was supposed to be a oneshot story, but since so many people liked it and encouraged me to add more to the story, I present to you Chapter Two! Spiffy, ne? I'm still not too satisfied with this, but I hope this will make the story more complete! Thanks again for everyone who took the time to read and give me a review!**

Drifting halfway between dreamland and reality, Naruto started to feel cold. His body still felt leaden, but he was barely conscious of the sounds around him. When the wind suddenly picked up, he shivered then sneezed. He sniffled before sitting up and shaking his head.

Still hazy from his nap, it took him a while before he noticed his surroundings and found that Sasuke was looking at him. "Hey, teme. I thought you left me alone… again," he added on the end, just to emphasize his point and hopefully make Sasuke guilty.

"I had things to do." Well, if he was guilty, he sure did cover it up nicely. Sasuke turned away and continued to stare at the scenery in front of them.

Naruto put on his pouting face and crossed his arms indignantly. When he finally realized that Sasuke wasn't paying any attention to him, he stopped and crossed his legs, holding his shoes and leaning forward.

"Ne, ne, Sasuke? Now that you know that I, uh… Well, you know…" he muttered, not really wanting to say it. "Do you… Do you like me?"

There was a few seconds of silence before a monosyllable broke it. "No."

Naruto leaned back and ducked his head, trying to show his disappointment. "Oh…" the sound barely slipped out of his throat. He stared at his hands and blinked a few times, thinking that Tsunade and Sakura wasn't kidding when they said the side effects of the herb was worst than death.

"I'm… going then…" he stood up and tried to look as cheerful as possible.

"To where?"

"… I haven't seen Iruka-sensei in a while…"

"Me neither." And with that he confused Naruto to no end. As he stood and turned, Sasuke saw the incredulous expression on his face and flatly said, "Just because I don't _like_ you doesn't mean I'm going to avoid you like the plague."

"Oh…" he said, but this time with a grin.

"Hurry up, dobe. It's getting late."

---

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto happily cried out as they reached the room. He put his hand on the knob and turned it, wrenching the door open with a bit too much force. On his face was his wide grin, eyes pressed together from the extremity of the smile. When he did open them, his jaw dropped and he turned cold with shock. "I-Iruka-sensei?" he choked out.

"What's wrong, dobe?" Sasuke strolled in as well. When he saw why Naruto was in such a state of surprise, he too froze on the spot and blinked.

"Uh, hey… You two…" Iruka lifted his right arm and waved weakly to them, a crooked smile on his lips.

"Why are you two…?" Naruto's shock ebbed just a bit and he could finally say something again.

Nervous laughter filled the silent room, except for the rhythmic "scrth, scrth, scrth" of cloth rubbing onto cloth. "From what I got from Tsunade and Sakura, an herb. An evil, vile herb."

Kakshi was latched onto Iruka's left arm, affectionately nuzzling his arm. His visible eye was closed and he was obviously content with his position but Iruka looked annoyed. The teacher sighed and looked at the two with an expression that you usually see on a mother. The expression that mothers wore when they were aggravated with their child but couldn't punish them because the kid didn't know they were pushing her to her limit.

"So that's why we haven't seen Kakshi-sensei in such a long time…" Naruto muttered under his breath. The wheels in his brain took a while before they clicked. "Kakashi-sensei likes YO—" a hand clapped over his mouth and cutting off his sentence.

"But how come he's like _that_? Naruto isn't latching onto me like a bloodthirsty leech," Sasuke pointed out, struggling to keep Naruto quiet. He was equally as surprised, but it would be rude to just burst out saying that.

Iruka raised an eyebrow. One because he was obviously uninformed that Naruto was also affected by the herb and two, because Naruto just tried stating the obvious. Again. _So it was Sasuke… _he thought to himself before answering the question.

"Kakashi was the one who found the herb. Unfortunately, he wasn't aware of the effects of the herb and held it for a good hour, trying to see if it was one of the normal plants," he paused here to sigh again, "Him not being too good at remember things like the color or shape of leaves sat on the spot before deciding that even if it was an old herb, it wouldn't hurt to show Hokage-sama."

The continual sound of Kakashi rubbing his cheek against Iruka's sleeve went on as the two tried to let everything sink in. Naruto had calmed down and stopped struggling, so Sasuke let go.

_Wow… It would be scary if I held that herb any longer than I did…_ Naruto admitted, scratching his head.

"So!" the teacher perked up and beamed at them. "How you two been?"

---

Naruto laughed and poked Sasuke once they were out in the streets again. "Aren't you glad that I'm not like Kakashi? I wonder how long he'll be like that. An hour!" he shook his head, still chuckling.

As excepted from Sasuke, his only reply was a "Hn."

"Gee, Sasuke…" Naruto started talking in a slightly louder than average voice. "It sure is getting late. Aren't _you_ hungry?" He nudged his teammate in the stomach playfully.

"Yeah, I am, now that you mention it." Naruto perked up, wondering if he would bring him out to eat again. "I'd better get home and make dinner…" he muttered and started to turn away. He left the blonde quickly.

"Teme!" Naruto yelled after him his face contorted with disappointment and anger. "Hmph…" _Well, what did I except from him, anyway?_

---

"Eating here by yourself, Naruto-kun?" Ayame asked the boy as she put down a bowl of ramen in front of him. She waited for him to snap apart his chopsticks and say "Itadakimasu!" and take a bite before he answered.

"Sasuke-teme wouldn't treat me anymore, so I came here by myself…" he explained between slurps.

She laughed at his childishness and said, "Is that so? Poor Naruto-kun…" she went back to her job and left Naruto with his food and thoughts.

_I'd better go back to Tsunade after this… Who knows how long it'll be before the effects of the herb goes away… _he thought to himself meditatively. _It sure feels lonely without Sasuke to bother…_ The thought drifted lazily around Naruto's head and he sighed. Suddenly realizing what he was thinking, he shook his head. _Must be the effects of the herb_, he decided quickly.

"_Do you… Do you like me?"_

"_No."_

The memory of rejection left Naruto mortally depressed. He was able to forget about that for half the day, but now that he was quiet the events rewinded themselves and repeated. His usual cheerful grin gave way to a frown. He went through the actions of paying and left.

"Naruto-kun, you're not going to have another bowl…?" Ayame called after him. She looked at the bowl. It was only half finished._ I wonder what happened to make him so sad?_

---

Somehow Naruto managed to get to the Hokage's building, even in his drifting state. He opened the door quietly and shuffled in, completely deprived of his normal cheer. He saw Tsunade sitting in her chair, looking at Sasuke. They both turned to him when they heard the quiet creak of the door.

"Naruto!" Tsunade greeted, noting his calm entrance.

"Hn," Sasuke walked past him without another word. If "Hn" could be considered a word… Naruto watched him leave, completely dejected.

"Eh, Sasuke… Not again…" the Hokage shook her head and returned her attention to Naruto. "What brings you here, Naruto-kun? If it's about the herb, I'm sure you'll be glad to hear that we have some more information!"

Naruto perked up, but only a little bit. "Really?" he walked closer to the desk.

Tsunade nodded briskly. "Some of our ninjas were brave enough to sacrifice their time for our experiments. It seems that the longer you are exposed to the herb, the longer the effects will stay and the more irrational you will act. A few seconds, like in your case, seems to last only two weeks… or so… An hour or more will leave you completely childlike for a good month or two. We're still trying to find a cure for this, but we are definitely going to keep this herb away from the public until then!" She picked up a few papers and put them back in their piles. "If there's nothing else, Naruto, you may leave," she said without looking up. She already knew that he was dazed and not paying attention.

"Huh, yeah… I'd better… go…" he said absentmindedly and scuffled out again.

"Those two cause me the most headaches," she said quietly and took out a sake bottle from her hiding place.

---

_I thought he wasn't going to avoid me like the plague… Or so he said_. Naruto thought heatedly. His depression changed into frustration when he started thinking about it. He hadn't done anything wrong, so why was Sasuke treating him so coldly?

Driven by bursts of random fuming thoughts, he didn't pay attention to the speed he was walking at. His mouth was set in a scowl as he turned the corner too quickly and fell back from the impact of something. Hard. Bony. Painful.

A small yelp of surprise made its way out of Naruto's mouth as he felt his arm being caught seconds before he hit the floor. A hand snagged onto his collar as well. In the dusky hours as now, it took him a bit before he realized who was holding him up. Or rather, hanging.

"Dobe… Watch where you're going…" his savoir panted out, roughly pulling him back up.

"Let go," Naruto growled and pulled away hastily. The two of them stared at each other vehemently before Naruto finally gave up. "Sorry…" he muttered.

A small snort came from the other. "Whatever, dobe. Where were you trying to get to in such a rush? Bowling people over like that…"

"It's all your fault, Sasuke!"

"Okay, yeah, it's all my fault for making you run into me," he scoffed, jamming his hands back into his pockets and resuming his sulking pose. _This_ _is very illogical_, he thought to himself as Naruto rambled on about something.

"… if you didn't treat me so indifferently I wouldn't have gotten mad at you!" the blonde finished, nearly yelling at him.

Sasuke turned his head away so that he wasn't facing Naruto. "So?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Naruto's jaw tighten and his hand turn into a fist. Sasuke nonchalantly took out one of his hands out of his pockets and blocked the hit, holding the fist and looking back at him.

"Well, aren't _you_ the overemotional one?" Sasuke scolded at him like he was a child, which only resulted in an even angrier Naruto.

"Teme…" he growled warningly, trying to pull his hand back but not succeeding to do so.

He smirked when he saw Naruto struggling. Keeping the same distance between them, Sasuke started to talk again. "Remember what I said? I don't _like_ you," he sneered. He watched as Naruto's expression turned in something that could be described as "I want to kill you so badly, but I want to break down and cry."

"Let go!" he yelled, his voice low.

Sasuke pulled him closer to himself so that he could see the forming tears in Naruto's eyes. "Exactly. I don't _like_ you…" he paused and chuckled. He leaned in so that his words would tickle Naruto's ears. Sasuke could see the slight trembling from his holding back.

While Sasuke took his time to say his next words, some passerbys stole some curious looks at them, wondering why they were in such a position. They shrugged and continued on their way home. Whatever those two were doing wasn't any their concern, right?

Suddenly Naruto's body relaxed and went limp. He was still standing on his own but he lost his composure. The words ran through his mind over and over again. _Why? Why, Sasuke _He thought as his shuddering became more violent.

Several moments passed by and they still stood like that, Sasuke's breath coming out in even puffs and Naruto's coming out in more irregular intervals.

"_I_ love _you, dobe…"_

Sasuke opened up the blonde's fist and placed his palm flat against it. Then he laced his fingers around Naruto's and brought it down again. He pulled back and stared at the crying blonde.

He sighed. "I was afraid of this…"

"Teme! You scared me so much!" he sniffled again and wiped his eyes.

"Hn," Sasuke snorted.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked as they started walking down the ever darkening streets.

"What, dobe?" replied in his uncaring voice. Darn it, how could he conceal his feelings so expertly?

"Does this mean I can hug you?"


End file.
